Horton Hears A Who: What Hurts The Most
by mynameisweird
Summary: What happens when a death becomes too much to handle? Especially for a young teen. Please be easy on this story. This is a first time I've written something that doesn't end good. What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts songfic!


Church bells rang silently in the cold air with the soft _woosh_ of a gloomy breeze. Gray clouds gathered on this depressing day yet they managed to hold their tears in. The only light lit up were the thousands of candles held by the thousands of Whos, dressed in black. There was a rythym of footsteps going a certain direction all dreaded to go to. Especially for this Who. Among the crowd was a black-haired boy, staring at the ground, holding his candle tightly, too tight for any comfort it could give him. He heard the sobs around him, especially from his mom and sisters. Though he wanted to cry, he wouldn't, he couldn't. His father wouldn't have wanted him too. He was now the man of the house and if it were the opposite way around, his father would be strong for his family. The sound of bells rang through his ear and a soft roar of thunder echoed in the sky. He finally lifted his head to see the black casket in front of him, carried by four of his father's friends. He silently wished he wasn't in the front of the line. It would be easier to be in the back, to not see the casket, to not hear the sobs from his mom and sisters, and to try to forget what happened that day. To convince himself that it was only just a dream, that when he woke up, everything would be fine.

"JoJo?" The teen looked up at his mother's depressed eyes. She only nodded, indicating they were at the burial sight. JoJo gave one nod and looked ahead. There was the beautiful polished rock with a name in elegant letters. On top of the rock, was the statue of the greatest man in Whoville that ever lived and who died a very selfish death. Black seats were positioned in front of the grave. Whos started to take their seats, their candles still lit. JoJo took one that was in front of the casket, giving him an easy view of it. Silently, one of his father's friends opened it to show the peaceful face of a Who. His mayoral crest shined brightly on his black suit, but not bright enough. The lips were blue and the gray that surrounded his eyes looked bruised. His usual brown fur was now a creamy pale white and even his dark brown hair was now a much more lighter brown.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me  
_

"Dearly Beloved, we are all gathered here today to remember one of the greatest Whos to ever live," began the priest. Everyone bowed their heads as he began talking to God. JoJo bowed his head, but his eyes never left the casket. As he stared at the corpse, he began asking why, why did this have to happen, why couldn't it had been him? He was surprised the cops weren't coming in to arrest him. It was his fault, his own damn fault that the only who, who ever believed in him was laying in the wooden bed and about to be buried forever. He was a murderer. The blood on his white hands were still visible through his eyes. He could still see drops of darker fur on his hands. No matter how hard he tried to scrub it off, those drops wouldn't come off and the smell of crimson red continued to fill his nose. It was a reminder. He killed his father. He led him to his death. He couldn't live with himself now. He tried going day through day with this and now, he felt it taking his toll. He refused to talk to anyone, he stayed in his room or go to the observatory, and those anti-depressants he bought, they weren't enough to stop the pain in his heart, weren't enough to stop the tears, and they weren't enough to stop the wounds on himself. The self-inflicted wounds of the guilt he couldn't get rid of his shoulders.

_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

He remembered the day like it was yesterday instead of 3 weeks ago. It was a typical day at the O'Malley household. Everything was cheerful, everything was as normal as could be. That was, until, the talk with his dad. That day there was a ceremony to celebrate the great saving of Whoville with the help of Horton the Elephant. He remembered his damn stuborness within him and flatout told his father he wouldn't come. He had business to attend to at the observatory. He remembered seeing the hurt look in his father's face. It was like he had stabbed him, the first drop of blood falling on his hand. His father asked him once again that he would like it if he went with him. JoJo replied with the same attitude, this one so much colder. Ned could only do one thing and order him. That's when it began. When the murder occurred. As the small Who stared into the dead Who's face, the memory of the killing occured.

_/ Flashback /_

_JoJo angrily walked away towards the front door. He didn't have time for this._

_"Don't walk away from me, JoJo," shouted Ned angrily trying to keep up with the pace of his son. _

_"Watch me," the son shouted back as he opened the front door, wind and rain blowing into the home. Ned sighed as he continued following him. He hated having an argument with his son, but this ceremony was important. It was an honor to Horton, the elephant that risked his life to save everyone and for him. Without his 'yopp,' the wouldn't be here. Ned exited the home into the harsh wind and rain._

_"JoJo, please, can we talk," he begged as he followed his son down the sidewalk to the crossroads. _

_"No. Just stay the hell away from me," snarled JoJo, not caring if the sign blinked DON'T WALK. He murmered colorful words about his father._

_"JoJo!"_

_"LEAVE ME ALONE!"_

_"No! JoJo!" Ned looked at the speeding truck coming towards his small son who was glaring at him, not noticing the bright headlings._

_"What," screamed JoJo. He saw his father running to him pushing him out of the way. His eyes met those of the highlights. And just before feeling anything, he closed his eyes, making a small prayer. JoJo felt the cold cement ground and the sound of screeching tires. His eyes widened at the sound. No. No. He quickly lifted his himself off the ground to see a limp body surrounded by a small pool of blood laying on the ground._

_"DAD," JoJo screamed, rushing to his father. He could hear the ragged breaths of his own father, coughing and gasping for breath. His teeth and bottom lip was trembling hard. His eyes slowly opened as far as they could. He felt his whole body start to tremble with the pain that ran through his bones, veins, and muscles. _

_"JoJo, you're okay," Ned smiled reaching his hand up and cupping JoJo's cheek._

_"Dad, we need to get you to the hospital. Someone call 911!" Suddenly, the hand went to his lips._

_"Shhh...JoJo, it's okay." JoJo only shook his head, calling out for someone to call 911. Soon, a dozen Whos were outside. His mother and his sisters were at the grocery store. Many were on their cellphones, others were sobbing, screaming. It was chaos, but for JoJo, it was only him and his dad, everything around them disappearing._

_"JoJo, I don't have much time left, son. I want to say I'm...I'm sorry."_

_"Don't say that! You're going to be okay!" Ned smiled. THat was his son. Trying to be hopeful, even if he knew the truth. JoJo's tears dripped down on Ned's arm, stinging him. He felt fatigue sweep over him. He tried to keep awake, tried his best to stay awake and say one last thing. A soft voice told him it was time to go home, but Ned refused to go...yet._

_"I'm going to miss you. Tell your mother and your sisters I love them. And JoJo, I love you too. You were my first child. I love you so much."_

_"No! No!" JoJo through himself on his dad, sobbing loudly. He felt another drop of the blood fall on his hand. "You can't go, Dad. We need you. I need you. Please don't go!"_

_He felt a soft hand pat his hair gently, as if he was trying to calm him from the horrible fate. Then, the sky began to really poor and the thunder roared in the sky. He continued feeling the hand patting until it came to a rest. JoJo finally looked up._

_"Dad, I--" He stopped when he saw closed eyes, never to open once again. The face looked calm and the drops of rain almost looked like tears falling down the dead man's cheek. JoJo shook his head, his eyes full of shock and sadness. As he grabbed his father's hand he saw 2 other drops form on his hands. He laid his aching head on his father's chest, trying to hear the thump, trying to hear a beat. He shook his head, the sound of sirens and flashing lights sending him back to reality. There, he noticed the chaos he had caused. He felt glares burning into his even if there were none at all. He could feel the pointing of fingers and the invisible shouts: __**MURDERER! MURDERER!**_

_/ End Flashback/_

He was pronounced dead at the scene. He was taken to the hospital and the doctors tried. They tried to save him, shocking him, doing CPR. But they had to face the truth. He was dead. He lost too much blood, his heart had stopped a long time ago. Sally wanted to sue the person who hit him, but JoJo was against it. He couldn't tell his mother that it wasn't the driver who killed his father, it was himself. Sally, knowing JoJo was a witness of the death and he would never lie at all, decided to drop the charges and the Who was sent free. He remembered sitting at the hospital. He shivered at the cold atmosphere, the cold floor, the cold chair, the doctors and nurses running pass him, not even giving him one look. It was almost like they knew what he had done

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still harder getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken_

It was then the real problems that began. He couldn't talk to anyone at all. The silence came back once again. His grades were failing and everybody avoided him as much as possible. He was on the risk of getting expelled from the school from not only the grades, but also for the many countless fights, suspensions, demerits. He was giving both his mother and sisters stress. In the short 3 weeks, he had caused so much trouble that his mother tried to get him to talk to a shrink. He was given anti-depressants to make him feel better, to get rid of the pain, but they were to weak for his hurt. He started hurting himself, making sure he gave himself as much hurt as he had given his father. Every sting was the sting his father felt when he died, yet nowhere near enough. What would he do to make sure his pain equally matched his father's? He locked himself in his room, feeling the pain, looking at his stained hands. It wasn't just guilt. It was need. He had known his father 4 years before his first sister was born. He knew him more than any one of them. It was true. You don't know what you have til it's gone and now, his father was gone. And when he died, it was almost like life had no meaning anymore. He was the one that _tried_ to bond with him, _tried_ to make him talk, _tried_ to understand him. Others only left him alone. Life was now only hell, a hell he wanted to get away from.

_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

The priest's conversation with God had ended and all the Whos blew out their candles, bowing their heads once more. JoJo only stared at the flame, putting his hand over it. It was too hard to let it go out, to let his father go. He wasn't ready. Not until he got the same pain his father had on the evening he died. He hid the flame, making sure no one saw it. He caught Heady's eyes and saw the suspicion. He only put a finger to his lips, telling her to not tell anyone. The little girl repeated his actions and didn't look at him once more. Finally, the speeches of fond memories were said. His mother, his grandfather, the first-born of his sisters, a few friends came up to share great memories and how much they will miss him and how much they will always love him. Then, it was his turn. It wasn't voluntarily, but he was the Mayor's first born child so he felt obligated to do so. He stared at the crowd of sad Whos and at is candle that was under his chair, still with the flame. He gave one final gaze at his dead father before taking a deep breath and sharing his words.

"My dad...was the greatest Dad in Whoville. He protected me and my family, making sure we would all get the life we wanted. I never really pictured him brave until the speck incident, but now looking back, he was the bravest man on this speck. He put up with me. Everytime I tried to push him away, he wouldn't move. Everytime my world got crazy, he was always there to save me from it. When I felt everything shaking, everything falling apart, he gave me hope. Without him, I feel lost, I have no hope, no faith, I feel like everything will not be alright. What happened to my dad was no accident and I wish I had taken his place. I had one argument with him and the next thing I knew he was laying in the streets. I never got to tell him goodbye, or tell him I loved him, or tell him all the words I saved inside of me, words I was too embarrassed to tell him. Deep down...I feel like I killed him." He heard the gasps from every Who, even the little ones.

"If I hadn't told him I wasn't going to go to the ceremony, if I didn't rush out of the house, and if I had looked both ways, we wouldn't be having this funeral. We would be at home, eating dinner, watching TV, listen to a bit of music. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. But I would give anything to trade spots with him right now. I would give anything to feel the pain he felt when he died. I love you, Dad. I'm so sorry. Rest in peace. Thank you."

He could feel the shocked and sad faces of everyone around him. That was the last thing he said that day. The last thing he allowed himself to say. Silence took over him once again. Pretty soon, his father's casket was closed and lowered gently into the ground. JoJo picked up a handful of dirt and dropped it on the casket. His sisters and his mother did the same thing before the shovels were pulled out and the soil covered the casket forever. Flowers were laid, everyone said one last prayer dropping roses, and then, left in silence. Many murmering, but most of them crying. The family stayed a bit longer.

"JoJo? Are you ready to go home?" JoJo looked up at his mother. Home. The O'Malley household would never be home for him. Without his father, it would just be a house. Even if he did have his mother and sisters. JoJo only shook his head and turned back to the tombstone. Sally sighed, giving him a pat on his shoulder as she left with her in-laws and her daughters. As soon as they were not within earshot, he began speaking.

"What I said was true, ya know. I want to feel the pain you felt. I killed you dad. The blood on my hands is proof. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If only you knew how hard it is to move on, how hard it is to deal with the pain of losing you. I get up, get dressed, but I continue to live with this regret. I'm living in hell because of what I did. I feel like I don't even want to live anymore." Tears streamed down his cheeks. He felt raindrops fall from the sky, sinking into his scalp. He felt himself craving for the pain, craving for death, and craving for his hellish life to end. He wanted to die. No matter what anyone said, that everything would be okay, he couldn't continue his life like this. Life without his dad. He bent down and traced his father's name before getting up and leaving, never looking back.

_Oooooooooohhhhh, yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh_  
_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you (not seeng that loving you)  
Is what I was tryin' to do  
Ooooooohhhhhh..._

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He finally arrived home. The girls were in the living room and looking at one another for comfort. Sally and his grandparents were in the kitchen. They were comforting one another as well. JoJo, he had no one. No friends, nothing. Not even music could comfort him. He silently when upstairs, passing his parents room. Tears made their way to his eyes, blurring his vision. The pain in his heart was too much to bear. He didn't wish it away though. Maybe this was another pain his father felt and he wasn't going to get rid of it. He arrived to his room, clutching his heart. He fell on his bed, finally letting out his sobs. Why? Why did he have to leave? Why did he have to be such a cruel son?! Why didn't he enjoy his time with his dad? Why? Why...why? The more he asked those questions the angrier he got...at himself. He lifted himself off the bed kicking his drawer to the ground. He looked at the many instruments and inventions. He let out a wail and through them across the room. He knew his family would here, but right then and there, he didn't care. He through them across the wall, some falling apart and others bouncing off. Those that did were thrown again.

Sally looked above and heard the throws. Her eyes widened when she heard the screams.

"He's not taking this well," said Mr. O'Malley as he got out of his chair along with his wife. Sally only shook her head sadly. She wasn't surprised of JoJo throwing his things around, but she was surprised at his screams. Almost as if he was in pain.

"Give him time to cool off for awhile. I'll go see him once he's done." The in-laws didn't bother saying anything and nodded in agreement, trying to get the sounds of thrashing from up above.

JoJo through his last instrument, sweat running down his forhead and his black suit in disarray. He fell on his knees as he looked around his room. His heart began burning. He clutched it and winced in pain. Yes. Pain. What his dad felt when he laid on the cold floor, surrounded by his own blood. JoJo forced himself up, clutching his stomach to the bathroom. He stared in the mirror, the reflection of himself. All he saw was depression, gloom. His face more pale than normal, his lips trembling, and bagged eyes from lack of sleep. Chocolate brown eyes were glaring at him. Telling him to embrace the pain and making sure he wouldn't wish it away. He continued staring at himself. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be at this house. He wanted to be with his dad even if for one minute. Then, may his murderous soul go to hell. He quickly looked down into the sink to see the his prescriptions. He stared at him like they held something very interesting. Slowly he took them in his right hand, reading the warnings. Knowing the risks. He looked at the mirror and back at the prescriptions. He heard stories on the TV. Extreme pain with them. Extreme pain when taken more than 2, more than 3, more than 4. EXTREME PAIN. The pain from knives, shots, and impacts.

"Dad," he whispered as he slowly opened the top looking at the white pills in the white bottle. He poured them in his hand before looking up at himself. No one wanted a murderer in the family or in Whoville. It would be easier when the murderer was gone. The monster was gone. Silently, the monster poured a glass of water from the sink. The beast will finally get the stake he deserved. There was no turning back. With the pills in his hand and the glass in the other, this was the point of no return. Three. Two. One. He felt the pills roll on his tongue and slid down his throat as he took in the cool water. The tears continued dripping as he fell on his knees. Silently, like his father, he said a final prayer.

_**"Now I lay thee down to sleep. I pray the Lord thy Dust to keep. And If thou live before thou wake. I pray the Lord thy Soul to make." **_As he let the last verse escape his lips, he felt it. It was almost like he was on fire. His bones, his muscles, and every cell in his body were crying in agony. He collapsed on the ground, shutting the bathroom door hard. Locking it so no one would see the horrible death that was about to occur

"JoJo, are you alright," called his mother's voice. JoJo only stayed silent, his body twitching. He bit his lip from preventing himself from screaming. It was a mix of every possible way to die. He didn't pray for it to go away. He prayed for more of it. He felt the blood on his lips for biting so hard. Now he was tasting what his father tasted.

"JOJO! JOJO, ARE YOU ALRIGHT!" Sally's voice sounded frantic, terrified. JoJo heard the door shake, like she was trying to come in. He didn't want his mother to see him like this. He didn't want her to see him so close to death. The pain got stronger and stronger, the chemicals running through his veins and then, the painful scream left from his throat and mouth.

"JOJO," he heard his mother scream trying to get the door open.

_"Why did you do this, my child," _said a soft voice coming from above. It wasn't mad, but it was sad.

"I need my Dad. He...the only one to believe in me," JoJo whispered. Was insanity part of death?

_"Is death really the answer for you?"_

"You don't understand. He's a part of me. Even if I go to hell, just let me see him one more time." JoJo's breaths became heavy and he could feel everything go silent. His mother's cries and screams were no longer heard, only the soft deep voice. He started feeling tired, his eyes drooping.

_"As you wish, my child. I do not want to see you in pain anymore and now I see, he is the only one to take it away. Joseph-Jonas, my dear boy, it is time to go home."_ JoJo gave a small smile. Home. Not a house, but a home.

"Home," he whispered. The heart against his chest beat slower and slower. The pain in his body was slowly drifting. He tried keeping his eyes open and saw a surrounding light. It felt warm, it felt comforting, it felt like home.

"Home. I'm going home." It was the last thing he said. There, in the bathroom, a limp body laid on the floor, blood on his lips, his eyes closed, and an empty bottle in his hands. A dead teen who was dead even before his suicide. And when the bathroom door would finally open, the three Whos would know that there would be another tombstone that would lay beside the greatest Who that ever lived. Father and son. Resting in peace.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

_Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,  
That saved a wretch like me.  
I once was lost but now am found,  
Was blind, but now I see._

It was all he heard. A male voice singing softly that song. He squinted his eyes to see someone looking down at him. Through the blurriness, blue eyes shined brightly, brimmed with tears. As his vision cleared, he saw the person. He saw his once pale face now a healthy brown, no more bruised-like eyes, and his light brown hair now a dark brown. His eyes widened and filled with tears of happiness when he saw the face. The person smiled down at him as he continued cradling the boy in his arms.

"Dad," whispered JoJo a soft smile on his lips. Ned nodded and hugged his son tightly. He gently sobbed in his shoulder and kissed his forhead. JoJo hugged him back just as tight. A warm aura surrounded father and son and there, it felt like home. Where he belonged.

"Why JoJo? Why did you do this? It shouldn't have been your time," said Ned seriously. His voice wasn't mad, but it was sad, just like the voice JoJo heard a minute before his death.

"I tried living, Dad. But you're the only one that really tried to see the real me. You're my dad, but also my best friend. I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry for killing you."

"You didn't kill me, JoJo. I would do anything to save my children. I'm sorry for the pain I put you through." Ned tightened the hug.

"Are you mad," JoJo muffled in his shoulder. Ned only shook his head.

"I don't feel anger, or sadness, or any negative feeling. I only feel happiness here. I wanted you to live a full life, but you weren't living a happy one. I finally see that. Welcome home, son. Everything's going to be okay." Ned set him on the ground and stood up. He saw his father with a white vest, including the tie and crest. There was a magnificent glow around him. JoJo looked down at himself. His suit was now a milky white. The same glow was around him.

"What about mom? My sisters?"

"They'll be sad, but in time they will understand. We will look after them from above." Ned gave him a soft reassuring smile. Suddenly a whiter glow appeared in front of them. To JoJo, it looked like a portal. He stared into it. Seeing a beautiful meadow with trees, flowers, a lake, and many animals. The sun shined brightly and the white clouds seemed to dance in the wind. And in the distance, was an observatory with the sounds of his music ringing in the sky. Ned smiled at his son's amazement. He gently held out his hand at JoJo.

"Are you ready to go home," he whispered. JoJo stared at the hand and at the beautiful place. Home. Happiness. His dad. JoJo gave his dad a smile and hugged him tightly. Ned returned the hug.

"Yeah. I'm ready. Let's go home." He took his father's hand as they slowly walked to the portal. Were they sad? Yes, deep down in their hearts, they didn't want to leave Sally and the girls. But they knew they would look after them. Were they happy? Yes. Ned had family in the great Kingdom and JoJo had his Dad. His hellish life was gone. What hurt the most would never hurt at all and as he raced his dad to the observatory, he knew without a doubt the hurt would never come back...for all eternity.


End file.
